For as many years as I can remember, I've had consultations with clients who when I explain that it is quite likely they will have to pay alimony for at least a certain amount of time, are shocked. I sympathize with anyone who is expected to pay alimony. New Jersey is a state in which alimony is very much a part of divorce judgments and settlements. There are 14 statutory factors involved in calculating alimony in this state. I would say the key is - it's not the whole story - is how long you were married and how much money each spouse makes. If you make significantly more than your spouse and have been married for a few years, you may be facing alimony payments. We will make any arguments we can to help you on this, if they apply, but we aren't going to lie to you. If it looks like your case is an alimony case, we 're going to tell you so upfront. It may turn out that it makes sense to negotiate alternatives to alimony. In negotiation there are many ways to deal with this and often tradeoffs can be made but you don't get there without acknowledging the reality of the issue.
The law has been moving in the direction of treating men and women in a more equitable manner for decades now. That logic applies to alimony. Sex or gender play no role in alimony law. Now there are those who will say that there are inherent systemic biases here. It's possible but not all that relevant. The bottom line is your sex or gender will not protect you from potentially having to pay alimony. You need to know that going into the process and figure out what your negotiating and possible litigation strategy will be. Your attorney will help you figure that out. But know one thing, denial or refusal to face facts is not a strategy!